3 April 2020

When did you stop wearing a bra? Coronavirus

When did you start braiding your hair? Coronavirus

When did you become such a great cook? (Ha! I wish!) 

When did you paint the porch? (On the list.) 

When did you plant your garden? (Good idea.) 

When did you gain ten pounds? (The nerve!)

When did you knit that afghan? (Found the yarn.)

When did you realize you are not in control? Coronavirus

When did you fully grasp the fragility of life? Coronavirus

When did you learn that being is enough? _____________  

In the Arbinger Institute’s leadership webinar entitled “Captain Your Ship: Exerting Influence in High-Stress Environments,” Desmond Lomax advocated for constructive rest as a way to decrease stress. Lying on your back with your shins on a chair activates the parasympathetic nervous system, “the involuntary nervous system serving to slow the heart rate, increase intestinal and glandular activity, and relax the sphincter muscles (Medicinenet.com). The position stretches the psoas muscle which is connected to the flight or fight response (Lomax).

We must try to address our own stress before trying to help others cope with theirs. Thomas Hubl says by reaching out to others when we are experiencing fear, anxiety or anger, trusted loved ones and colleagues serve to co-regulate our stress. This is the miracle of authentic connection. When we are in a state of calm, we are more equipped to help settle the nervous systems of others.

Consider taking on this position for 2-3 minutes to experience what Lomax calls “active or constructive rest.” A walk in nature will also do the trick; a glass of wine does not.  This simple strategy is easily accessible – no special equipment or trip to the store required. 

I’m taking a global coaching course, and I was paired with Deborah, a woman from Germany, in a Zoom break-out room to discuss the first fear that comes to mind about  the COVID-19 crisis. 

My gut reaction was to express fears about my mom. I am in contact with children, grandchildren, family and friends via FaceTime, phone, text, e-mail, Zoom – overwhelming technologies to my 93-year-old mother in a wonderful care facility. Talking on the phone with her entails the intervention of multiple people because her phone is a mystery to her. This must be so confusing for her. It is a conundrum for us.  

Deborah thinks she had the Coronavirus ten days ago, and I asked what that was like. She said, “I felt fluish, I slept more, but other than that, there was no change. I’m an introvert.”

Hmm. I also love reading, writing,  quiet and silent contemplation. I just like to talk about it.

Deborah confessed that for her, being sick enabled her to let go of things that she normally would see as pressing. It provided her with a reason to be ultra-reclusive, her preferred way of being. 

I wonder who might experience some small positive outcome as a result of this crisis.

Nail biters

Face touchers

Eyelash pickers

Parents who dream of staying home with their children 

Liquor store owners 

Online learning lovers

People growing out gray roots

Our witty friends and loving family help us cope with anxiety and grief. How can shift our consciousness away from fear?

Be present.

Follow CDC guidelines.

Breath. 

Be kind.

Pray. 

Express gratitude. 

If we pay attention, there are silver linings – there always are. No foolin’.